witherbee,demala rose

[demala]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][STYLE=border-right: 3px solid #365F88; width: 130px;][STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -moz-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -webkit-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -ms-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -khtml-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; padding: 10 5 10 5; width: 120px; font-size: 11px; font-family: georgia; text-align: justify; color: #dedede] [STYLE=text-align: center; font: 20px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px;]INTRO:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]NAME:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]NICKNAMES:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]AGE:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]BIRTHDAY:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]WAND:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]ABILITIES:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]OCCUPATION:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]HOUSE:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]FACE CLAIM:[/style] [/style][/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][STYLE=width: 250px; font-size: 11px; font-family: georgia; text-align: justify; color: #dedede][STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -moz-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -webkit-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -khtml-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -ms-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; padding: 10 10 10 10; width: 240px;][STYLE=text-align: right; font: 25px georgia; width: 220px; margin-bottom: -10px;]PERSONALITY:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]LIKES:[/style] Butterflies Naps Spells Cbarms Sweets Spiders Flying Blue Black Red [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]DISLIKES:[/style] Mail People that disturb her naps Healthy Food Homework Nagging people a few exceptions Goody goodys Large body of water Cats Reading Being told what to do [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]DEMENTOR:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]BOGGART:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]PATRONUS:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]GOALS:[/style] Become Powerful, Rich and Famous [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]SECRETS:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]PERSONALITY:[/style] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [STYLE=text-align: right; font: 25px georgia; width: 220px; margin-bottom: -10px;]HISTORY:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]BLOOD STATUS:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]MOTHER:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]FATHER:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]SIBLINGS:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]OTHER:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]PETS:[/style] Owl Rosewater [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]HOMETOWN:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]THE STORY:[/style] [/style][/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: bottom;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] [STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 0 20 20 0; -moz-border-radius: 0 20 20 0; -webkit-border-radius: 0 20 20 0; -ms-border-radius: 0 20 20 0; -khtml-border-radius: 0 20 20 0; padding: 0 10 0 10; width: 120px; font-size: 11px; font-family: georgia; text-align: justify; color: #dedede][STYLE=border-left: 3px solid #365F88; width: 100px;] [STYLE=[STYLE=border-left: 12px solid #365F88; width: 100px; text-align: center; font: 20px georgia; margin-bottom: -10px;]OOC:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]ALIAS:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]EXPERIENCE:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]OTHER BABIES:[/style] [STYLE=text-align: left; font: 14px georgia; width: 115px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;]CODE WORD:[/style] [/style][/style]

[sorting hat]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][STYLE=width: 350px; font-size: 10px; font-family: georgia; text-align: justify; color: #dedede][STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -moz-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -webkit-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -khtml-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -ms-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; padding: 10 10 10 10; width: 350px;][STYLE=text-align: center; font: 30px georgia; width: 350px; margin-bottom: -10px;]PENDING[/style] [STYLE=text-align: center; font: 11px georgia; width: 350px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;] hey demala. :) before i can accept your character, i'm afraid that there are quite a few things i would like for you to fix up. the title of your thread should not have any capitals in the character's first or middle name, please and thanks. it saves us the work of editing your application to make things look neat. the image i know you know you need to fix. it should be 125x300, no less than that. her age... okay. so you want her to be in the fifth year... but at the moment, from her birthday, she would be thirteen? thirteen year olds are either in third or second year, neither of which we allow on the site. in order for her to be in fifth year she should either be, on december 31st, fifteen or sixteen with a birthday between september 1st and december 31st. while on the topic of birthdays, i would greatly appreciate it if you would change hers. i think we already have at least one october 31st birthday on the site, and frankly such birthdays are entirely cliche and overused. originality is encouraged. <3 now, as for the rest of your app... honestly, i can't get a feel for demala at all. she seems to be everywhere, with little consistency. just one example of which (though there are more) would be saying "Demala tend to be a loner at most time but is often surrounded by her housemates." those two facts directly contradict each other without any explanation. could you please work on her personality so that it's more consistant and/or better explained? sometimes a character makes perfect sense in our head, but it takes work to translate them well onto text. i also need for you to explain both her patronus and her dementor. her sister... well, to be quite honest, i found it incredibly difficult to follow your history. there are numerous spelling and grammatical errors that make reading it incredibly difficult, so i would like for you to take another look at that, but as well i would like for you to explain her sister more as well as the relationship between the sisters. how did she 'show her love'? why was demala so excited to get away from her? etc. as said, i really need for you to take a look at her history and the entire app, really. there is a spell checker built into proboards that i would suggest you use to fix up some of the more obvious errors, but there are many grammatical errors and, really, sentences that just don't make sense: "She tried violin filled thier room with ear breaking noise, she tried self training spell and charms lets just say Demala had a few too many trips to the hospital". maybe the nonsensicalness is because of grammar errors, but regardless, it is very hard to read as is most of your history. please take a second look and fix things up. finally, there are a few places you missed on the application and need to fill in, namely the 'hometown' and entire ooc section. pm the admin account when changes have been made and i/jd shall take another look. ^^ thanks! ~pepper [/style] [/style]

[sorting hat]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][STYLE=width: 350px; font-size: 10px; font-family: georgia; text-align: justify; color: #dedede][STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -moz-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -webkit-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -khtml-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; -ms-border-radius: 40 40 40 40; padding: 10 10 10 10; width: 350px;][STYLE=text-align: center; font: 30px georgia; width: 350px; margin-bottom: -10px;]• DENIED ![/style] [STYLE=text-align: center; font: 11px georgia; width: 350px; margin-bottom: -10px; color: A2A2A2;] unfortunately it has been one week since you last worked on your app, and so we have to deny it. should you return and wish to finish the character you are free to repost your app. thanks for understanding! ~pepper [/style] [/style]