of monsters and men [jasper!]

[seyton malcolm greyback]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

the first full moon of the school year, always an 'exciting' time. luckily there were no new werewolves this year for the nurse to make the wolfsbane potion for. first year werewolves were the worst. they'd only experienced a few years, at most, of their transformations and even at twenty-six seyton wasn't at all relaxed around full moons. thinking that the innocent eleven year olds had to go through the pain and side effects of the full moon made him sick. they were far too young to go through the transformations. any student was too young, in his opinion, but it wasn't like he could help it, even with his own family. the potions were delivered to each student's dorm room, placed beside their bed with a note if they weren't at the room yet before he’d retreated back to the hospital wing for a short time.

assigned professors would go around, rounding up the werewolves at six o'clock (it was now about five), and putting them in their abandoned classrooms to ensure that they didn't accidentally harm others during the night. seyton, meanwhile, would be locked in the hidden room branching out from his bedroom (which was in turn located behind a door in his office in the hospital wing). the scratches and tears on the wallpaper in that room were testament to what occurred within it, along with the broken furniture bought for the sole purpose of giving him something to do during the nights he was stuck within the walls. his own potion lay waiting for him on the desk of his office, though he was still unsure of whether he would take it tonight or now (he was secure in his room, with no worries of breaking out to harm anyone), but for now the werewolf was outside, enjoying last minutes of freedom while the students were within the school for supper. the nurse never had appetites on full moons, the wolf within him was more active than ever of what it wanted, but fresh meat was not something seyton was about to give, so he just tried to relax and enjoy the little bit of peace he had for the evening.

the forbidden forest was where his wolf wanted to be tonight, lying in wait for some unsuspecting student or hunting the wild creatures that roamed between its trees, but it’d have to settle with the little bit of wandering seyton did to clear his mind in the darkness. being outdoors, whether it was the day before the full moon or half a month after, always calmed him. he only had about an hour before he, too, would retreat to his room, never quite certain of when the transformation would occur, but for now it was just good to stay here and relax… that was, until a very familiar scent drifted upon the breeze towards him. seyton changed his course, eyes searching through the trees for his little brother. ”jasper?”

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[jasper rocke greyback]

he'd managed to escape the proffesers rounding out the students. he usually could, he hated being cooped up in the rooms. sure he knew it was safe, but it was like torture, he wasn't some wild animal, it wasn't really his fault that he was like this, wasn't his fault he'd been born to a sadistic werewolf who had pushed most of his kids into getting the bite. shaking his head he slipped further into the forest and away from the brightness of the school. he could still smell the scent of the food wafting from the great hall and it was making him sick. this was his fifth transformation, he wasn't used to them and to be honest they still scared the hell out of him, but being in the forest was better than choking down the wolfs bane.

he glanced up at the moon as he shifted through the tree's, biting his lip as the first stages of pain started running through his back. he was still new, they always took longer when you were new, hurt more because you weren't used to it. shaking his head he leaned his hand on a tree and couldn't help the snarl that escaped his lips. if it had been one or two months ago, he'd be with nikki, she'd be helping him, trying to tell him it was okay. now, he was alone, in pain and his emotions were at an all time high. as the pain ran through him his anger got worse, he hated his father for doing this, he hated himself for letting this happen and he was sure that five months ago if he'd flung himself off the tower all his problems would be solved.

moving to a tree he took out his wand. muttered a spell then reached his hand through the enchanted part of the tree and moved to pull out a bottle of firewhiskey. keeping his stash her was safer in the forest than in the castle, people checked the dorms, and everywhere in the castle, were in the forest, people were too scared to come into her, and the only people who would be able to smell the alcohol was another wolf like him, and he doubted they'd be able to get into where it was hidden anyway. opening it he took a swig and moved to sit down next to a cluster of trees. holding the bottle he took a few more drinks when he smelled the scent of his older brother. he shook his head and rolled his eyes slightly. why was it seyton was always there?

”jasper?” shaking his head he took another swig, feeling the effects of the alcohol in his body and he leaned his head back against the tree. "yeah?" he said as he dropped the bottle down next to his leg and he sighed. shaking his head he moved to try and get up, mistake in his mind. groaning he shifted his hand to his stomach as the pain shifted, getting worse as the minutes ticked past, the awful moment getting closer with each passing second and he shook his head, dropping back against the tree he brought his knee's to his chest and buried his head into them. "g-go away seyton" he mumbled into his legs, too much in pain to be cynical or guarded or angry at his brother, shifting uncomfortably he whined a little, breathing deep to try and wait till the pain shifted, or stopped. it was on and off again, it would be for a while, why the hell had his brother picked this moment to show up.

[seyton malcolm greyback]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

last year it had seemed that seyton rarely went a few days without seeing at least one of his siblings. there had been jasper, of course, and for a time they'd been quite close, and then there'd been dareious and the siblings that had views of seyton that were... lesser than he would have liked, but then over summer much seemed to have changed. jasper was more off than ever before, and even darious was far different than he used to be. seyton rarely seemed to see his closer siblings anymore, and even those he didn't get along with were distant (though he wasn't nearly close to complaining about that). despite the issues he had with his father, the nurse really did care about his family, especially his two brothers, and it was more than a little bit troubling that the two of them seemed to have turned into different people.

"yeah?" a key point of the difference that had came over jasper would be his present location. it was almost the full moon, what the hell was he doing out in the forest where he could hurt someone when he transformed? did he want to kill someone? seyton had been unfortunate enough to bite someone when he was young, and regretted his stupid decision ever since, but at the time he hadn't been able to control himself. how would jasper feel if he woke in the morning knowing that he had, at the very least, ended the normal life of a fellow student? the werewolf's eyes were narrowed, one second from tearing a chunk out of jasper using nothing but his voice, but then he noticed the bottle in his brother's grasp and the distinct smell of firewhiskey in the air. normally that might made him nothing but more frustrated, but this time it had a different effect on the nurse.

he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he took another step closer to his brother. "g-go away seyton" the shake of his head in response was instantaneous, but he gave no direct response to being pushed away, instead choosing a bit of a softer approach. "what are you doing? you can't be out here tonight, you know that." he eyed the bottle by his brother's leg. that would need to be addressed too... but it could wait. getting his brother inside was more pressing right now. one werewolf out in the forest at night was enough, if the two of them ended up outside in their wolf states at the same time there could be serious, serious trouble. he frowned, "don't do this to yourself, jasp. not tonight. it's not safe."

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[jasper rocke greyback]

seeing his older brother step closer to him he shook his head and couldn't help the snarl that rolled off his tongue and through his teeth. shaking his head he tried to shift away from seyton, his eyes yellow as he glanced up at his older brother. "i said g-go away!" what part of it didnt his brother understand? he was in the forest, what stupid students were going to come into this place in the middle of the night on a full moon knowing there were werewolves in these trees, not to mention everything else that happened to be lurking in the shadows! "what are you doing? you can't be out here tonight, you know that." he shook his head and his yellow eyes narrowed, the glow on them focusing on his brother and he shook his head. "I can do what i damn well p-please" he said, his voice shaking slightly on the last note as a spasm ran through his back, forcing him forward onto his knees. resting his hands on the dirt he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth against it, hoping to god it happened quickly.

was it too much to be ask to be left alone? it was hard enough to go through this without being locked up in a little room like some wild animal, he hated it, it scared him. being locked in a room with nothing, in he dark and knowing what was happening to you was terrifying. he wasn't going to go through it again, if other students chose it, it was a free country, he wasn't an animal, he was cursed, this wasn't his fault. "don't do this to yourself, jasp. not tonight. it's not safe." do what to himself? try and do this in peace? where other students couldn't be outside the rooms gawking at what could have been happening inside, even with the charms they could place on the doors, the kids knew what was happening, and jasper was tired of it. "o-oh yeah . . cause i have a fucking choice about this!" he said as he glared up at his brother, the pain making his mood worse as he dropped his head and shook it. "j-just go w-would you" his voice suddenly barely audible.

he could feel it starting, the ache in his bones growing as he gripped his fingers into the dirt, clutching at is as he felt his limbs start to snap, start to change, breaking and changing, then snapping back into place suddenly. he couldn't help the cry that escaped his lips as it happened, his head dropping onto the dirt as he leaned over his knee's, hoping to god seyton had left him. he didn't want his brother around. breathing hard he forced his arm out to the bottle he'd put beside his leg, pulling to his mouth he drank the last of it, chucking it back down on the dirt he leant forward again, feeling the ache grow again as the moon started to rise above the trees, bathing the clearing in it's light, and the two werewolves in it's curse.

[seyton malcolm greyback]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

god teenagers could be idiots. it wasn't really nice for an adult to say, especially when the teenager they were referring to was their younger brother, but it was true. yeah, jasper didn't deserve the shit that had gone on in his life, but no one did and it came to all of them anyway. jasper had taken his problems and instead of fighting through them had practically given up, choosing all of the options that made it look as though it hadn't but hurt him and the people around him. this was something seyton didn't want to stand for, though. by not taking the potion tonight, and being out in the open, he was not only physically endangering himself but every student that liked to sneak out of the castle for romantic or purely fun endeavors in the middle of the night. the kid should know firsthand how frequently students liked to sneak out of the castle to explore. seyton knew for a fact that he and nikki used to go out at night all the time, and to seyton's knowledge nikki had not stopped her sneaking out nights just because she and jasper had broken up. how terrible would his brother feel if he accidentally attacked her because he wasn't in his right mind? he'd probably kill her, and that was something that seyton would never want on his brother's conscience.

"I can do what i damn well p-please" he was so damn stubborn! the nurse gritted his teeth in frustration, hands balling into fists. his increased frustration was probably greatly due to the moon, the familiar waves of tension running through his body, signalling the upcoming transformation that he wouldn't be able to fight for any longer than a few minutes, and he didn't want to be stuck out here at night, either. he might have taken the potion and therefore be able to control himself better than jasper would, but the temptations would still be there if he came across another student while in his wolf form. "o-oh yeah . . cause i have a fucking choice about this!" he did, though, that was the thing. jasper refused to recognize it but he didn't have to be out here drinking his night away. it was all in the decisions he made, the way he chose to hold himself, but he refused to see that. he had too much fun pretending that he was just a pitiful victim of the world and nothing more, that anything he might do to other people was justified because his life sucks. seyton really felt like giving his brother a reality check, but part of being a brother was recognizing that sometimes tough love wouldn't work. sometimes he had to actually be the brother he'd grown to be over the past year. "j-just go w-would you" seyton hesitated a moment more until the change started to come over his brother, the moon peaking out over the trees, bathing the two in his light and intensifying the tension in seyton's own body. "dammit jasper," he muttered under his breath a second before he pivoted on one foot and bolted, racing back to the castle as quickly as his two human legs could take him, into the castle, through a passage, to his room, and to the private room hidden behind a moment before the pain exploded and his night of hell began.

---

he wasn't sure the time when he woke in pitch black, apparently having broken the only light source in the room in the night in his rage of the middle of the night. he lay crumpled on the floor, cheek pressed against the stone, trying to regain his breath. as usual the memory of the night before was fuzzy at best, flashes of anger, fresh claw marks along the walls, and a pounding head ache that made him want to scream, but it settled itself after a few minutes, allowing him to push himself to his feet and move out of the hidden room to his own bedroom where he checked his appearance in the mirror and flinched slightly from the bright light coming through his bedroom window. tired, but he didn't appear to have injured himself last night... good. he was tired of that happening. he tended to seem to go on self-destructive binges in his wolf state... and that thought reminded him of someone else who seemed to be on a self-destructive binge 24/7 now a days, and after another quick check in his mirror he was hurrying out of the hospital wing to the forbidden forest, wandering through the trees in the direction of his brother's scent.

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[jasper rocke greyback]

he was in pain, more so than the normal feels of waking up after a night of his bones breaking and changing and running a muck. he could smell blood as he tried to take a breathe, feeling pain flare up in his chest as he did. he lay there for a few minutes, trying to will it away but he couldn't. he had no idea what had happened the night before, it was one f the downsides, he didn't remember a single thing he did while he was changed, it was all blank, and if he tried to remember anything it was often fuzzy and he swore it was made up, it was almost like his mind protected him from the horrors of what he'd done. though at this moment he'd do anything to remember what had happened to him. shifting to get his hand under him he swallowed, tasting blood in his mouth as he did and he started the slow, painful effort of sitting up.

he bit his lip hard as he did, fighting the urge to cry out as every inch of his body ached, protested and screamed at him to lay back down, close his eyes and give into the pain. swallowing he refused, made to turn his body, having to be careful of one arm and he rested against the tree that was next to him, he glanced down at himself, even he was shocked to see most of his body was red, covered in dried blood, bruises, cuts that were still bleeding. swallowing he looked down at his chest, saw a large gash moving over his lungs and he shook his head ,his hand moving to cover it painfully as he tried to move his right arm. pain cursed through it as he did ,he could only just feel his fingers, he was led to the assumption he'd dislocated it. his head was throbbing, his stomach feeling like it would spill at any second and his body in agony, he did the stupidest thing he could, he pushed himself to his feet, gripping the tree to keep his body up and swallowing back the bile that raised in the back of his throat. he was dizzy, his had spinning as he glanced down, standing in the blood that had been dripping from him all night and he looked around the clearing, saw the churned up grass, the broken tree's the blood that was spread, though he could tell from the smell that it wasn't all his.

his breathing came quick and ragged, knowing he'd broken a few ribs. h could see where someone had been hurled, or forced into a tree, and he had a strong suspicion it was him, for the way the tree smelled as jasper slowly made his way past it, willing his feet to take one step at a time and trying his damn hardest not to fall over. he was trying to remember where he'd left his clothes. needing to get them before he could go to the castle for help, he know his brother would be unhappy with him still, but he wouldn't turn him away when he needed help, and jasper needed help, he had a strong thought that he'd lost a bit of blood, he was still loosing from the gash on his chest, which rested over his lung, he was sure that that was hindering his breathing more than the ribs were, he could handle the rib, but every time he breathed he felt more blood run from his chest, spilling over his fingers and onto the ground as he walked, not worrying about leaving a blood trail.

leaning his hand against a tree he looked down, saw his crumpled up clothes and he swallowed. cursing loudly as he bent over he managed to grab his pants, shifting painfully and moving to pull them on. it took him a few minutes, but once they were on and done up he just left the shirt, not thinking he could bend over again without spilling his guts or passing out, so he kept moving, toward the castle. he could suddenly smell someone close, but he knew the scent ,it was seyton. he coughed again, his body hunching forward as he did, blood dripping from his mouth as he coughed it up. shaking his head slightly he felt his legs shaking, lifting his head slightly he gripped the tree to keep himself up, hoping he could make his voice loud enough for seyton to hear. "s-sey-yton" he tried to call, hoping his brother heard it, the movement of speaking sending him into another coughing fit as blood spilled onto the ground before him again.

[seyton malcolm greyback]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

the longer that seyton had to wander around in the forest, trying to find his brother, the worse a feeling began to grow in his stomach. maybe it came with being a nurse, coupled with working around teenagers all the time, but sey could often tell when trouble had occurred even before he should be aware of it. most people would probably just call that paranoia, or basic knowledge that when there were teenagers around and trouble to get into, those teenagers would find whatever possible way there was to screw things up intentionally or unintentionally. it was also very true that jasper was one of the unluckiest teenagers seyton knew, perhaps it ran on genetics, so if something was going to wrong and he was around odds were that that 'something' would be happening to him. and with his stupidity of the night before, the severity of that 'something' could be extremely high.

normally if a werewolf disappeared on the night of the full moon, and a staff member knew about it, there were serious consequences for that student... but the greybacks never got caught. seyton wasn't an idiot, he knew that most of his siblings, especially those who didn't take the wolfsbane potion because they thought it was an insult to who they were, wandered out into the forest for the night... but however stupid they were, and however much they might hate him, they were still his family and he would not sell them out to be punished and then perhaps expelled for repeat offences. that didn't mean that he wouldn't try to reason with them, though, to try to make them see that they were being stupid and selfish. he might despise his father with every breath, but he would never, ever give up on his siblings and the hope that they might someday 'come to their senses'. and if he wasn't about to sell out the siblings that hated him, he definitely was not going to sell out his 'favourite' little brother.

"s-sey-yton" the soft voice broke through seyton's thoughts, causing his head to whip around trying to locate the source of the broken word, jasper of course. he was really tired of hearing the teenager say his name in such a way, it always meant that jasper was hurting in some way and of course that was something that the nurse despised seeing. he worked in the infirmary, he saw ill and injured kids every day, but it made much more of an impact when the patient was his own brother, especially when jasper had a talent of getting himself beat up in ways other students never could... though he supposed neither of those occurances had been the kid's fault. one had been at the hands of fenrir, the other seyton's... neither occasions that the nurse liked to reflect on.

the coughing that followed the words was easy to follow as sey hurried through the trees, nearly going right by his brother where he stood hunched over next to a tree, coughing up blood, in a sorry state as usual. the nurse flinched when he saw the blood and injuries, mind automatically coming up with a violent situation of how they had occurred that he certainly did not like. "for once i'd like to see you outdoors not looking like you just crawled out of a grave," he sighed, but though the words were intended as a bit of a joke to relieve any tension they fell flat to seyton, whose very real worry was clear in every syllable. "can you walk to the infirmary, or do you think you're about to pass out?" he questioned, of course ready to support his brother along the journey either way. the only question was how much lifting he'd have to do, or whether he'd merely be a crutch.

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[jasper rocke greyback]

"for once i'd like to see you outdoors not looking like you just crawled out of a grave," jasper shook his head, managing to attempt a weak grin as he coughed again, his hand moving to wipe the blood away from his lips as he looked up at his brother, his eyes glassy, showing the pain that the boy was trying so hard to pretend wasn't as bad as it was. "y-you a-and m-me both . . l-least t-this is m-my f-fault" he said, coughing at the end of it leaning forward again as blood spilled from his mouth for a second time. it was true, this was only his fault, and as much as he'd love to blame the thing that had done it to him it wasn't something he could do. he'd been the stupid one, he'd been the one to stay in the forest instead of listening to his brother and going back to the castle. he only had himself to blame, and that's all he would.

keeping his hand on his side he looked at seyton, shaking his head slightly. he could feel his legs shaking, but not wanting to seem weak, as hard as it was to prove in the last few months, he was stronger than he let on, he'd just gotten into the habit of choosing the easy way out. "can you walk to the infirmary, or do you think you're about to pass out?" he bit his lip hard and shook his head. he did feel like he was going to pass out, but he was certain he would make it to the infirmary, so long as he stopped coughing blood, and managed to stay as pig headed as he had been in the last few months. "i d-do . . b-but i c-can make it" he said as he made to push off from the tree, feeling his legs stumble and almost buckle as he made to grip onto seyton's shoulder to stop himself from falling down. looking up at seyton he shook his head, took a few shaky breathes while he did and shook his head slightly. "s-seyton . . i-i'm s-sorry . . " he said, he wouldn't blame seyton if he wanted to leave him here, jasper had been nothing but trouble, and he was sure seyton was sick of saving his life. "f-for i-it . . a-all" he said, his eyes closing as his body throbbed painfully, his legs shaking, his hand gripping seyton's shoulder to keep himself up.

closing his eyes for a second he bit his lip hard, what was one more bruise right? and he made to start walking, one step at a time, one painful step his body reminded him each time he moved. he could feel broken bones, the arm that wasn't using seyton to lean on hung limply by his side, dislocated and useless. his ribs were broken , he could feel it, he was pretty sure he'd damaged his wrist, his ankle hurt, his knee's were killing him. whatever he'd gotten into a fight with had had strength behind it that was for sure, he thought as he went back to thinking about walking and staying upright. "h-hope t-this is t-the l-last time" he said quietly, his strength draining from him with every step he took, the blood still coming from the gash on his chest and he shook his head. "c-cant w-walk a-anymore" he said, stopping moving and willing his legs not to buckle, the fall to the ground would be painful.