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Post by albus on Nov 2, 2012 20:30:55 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -moz-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -webkit-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -ms-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; -khtml-border-radius: 20 0 0 20; padding: 10 5 10 5; width: 120px; font-size: 11px; font-family: georgia; text-align: justify; color: #dedede] [style=width:125px; height:300px; background-image:url(http://r11.imgfast.net/users/1114/14/19/11/avatars/7-36.jpg); border-radius: 20px 20px 20px 20px; -webkit-border-radius: 20px 20px 20px 20px;] |
INTRO: NAME: NICKNAMES: AGE: BIRTHDAY: WAND: ABILITIES: OCCUPATION: HOUSE: FACE CLAIM: [/style][/style][/td] [td][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] [STYLE=background-image: url(http://oi45.tinypic.com/6i4coy.jpg); border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -moz-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -webkit-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -khtml-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; -ms-border-radius: 0 40 0 40; padding: 10 10 10 10; width: 240px;][STYLE=text-align: right; font: 25px georgia; width: 220px; margin-bottom: -10px;]PERSONALITY: LIKES: - quidditch
- flying
- his family
- pie
- friends
- reading
- history of magic
- women
- sex
- alcohol
DISLIKES: - flawlessness
- the color purple
- the color pink
- cupcakes
- vodka (not his cup of alcohol)
- transfigurations
- potions
- herbology
- people comparing to his father and brother
- divination
DEMENTOR: BOGGART: PATRONUS: GOALS: SECRETS: PERSONALITY: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - HISTORY: BLOOD STATUS: MOTHER: FATHER: SIBLINGS: - James Sirius Potter, 19, gryffindor alumni
Lily Luna Potter, 15, gryffindor, 5th year
OTHER: PETS: HOMETOWN: THE STORY: [/style][/style][/td] [td][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: bottom;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true] [STYLE=border-left: 3px solid #365F88; width: 100px;] [STYLE=[STYLE=border-left: 12px solid #365F88; width: 100px; text-align: center; font: 20px georgia; margin-bottom: -10px;]OOC: ALIAS: GENDER: EXPERIENCE: OTHER BABIES: CODE WORD: [/style][/style] [/td][/tr][/table][/center]
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Post by sorting hat on Nov 3, 2012 16:02:15 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true]• A NOTE! hey valval. i'm glad that you've decided to join us, but i'm afraid there's a bit of an issue already with your app. ian somerhalder is far too old to be albus potter, and besides that, he's not an available face claim, so you'll have to find a different playby. you also seem to have messed up the coding of the app a bit... if you need help fixing it, just pm our admin account.
thanks!
~jade |
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Post by sorting hat on Nov 6, 2012 16:12:16 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true]• PENDING ! hey valval.
so, i'm sorry for how this might come off, if it seems like i'm picking on you or anything, but i have a very specific idea of what i want for the potter boys in my mind, and so i am very particular of who they are and how they are portrayed.
okay, so issues with this... there are a lot. really, the entire app... i'm sorry, but i need more depth to everything. not just the basic minimum, scratching the surface of everything about all as it seems to me you've done. an example of his history... it's extremely basic. "he is this. he did this. he does this. he feels this. then he did this. he does this, too. this happened." there's absolutely no depth to it whatsoever and it's actually quite frustrating to read. quality for me is in the details. don't scratch the surface, break the glass and show what's underneath, this goes for everything, from his dementor to his history.
i'm sorry, but i really do not agree with his birthday being the same as harry's. you're going to have to change that, and i don't just mean change it to a day before or after, either. things like that send up warning flags in my brain that something's not right with the character. especially with harry's son it's almost like they're 'too perfect'.
your writing style... please, please be careful of that. take a look over your app, change what you notice, because your grammar is quite poor often and your wording is consistently awkward.
i really do not like the alcoholic/drug aspect. "i ask is that you not make him an angry 'grr, i hate the world!' bad boy" would not his drug issue, ladies man tendencies, and drugs make him such a bad boy? by 'grr i hate the world' i didn't mean don't make him emo. i meant make him normal, and the drugs and alcohol just don't sit well with me at all. sorry.
i'm sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to this app. i was debating what i should address or not, and i decided that because albus is such an important character to me i shouldn't just let things i don't like slide... if you could fix them up it'd be greatly appreciated.
~pepper |
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